Sunday, 20 June 2010

It's Father's Day here......

.... so how else could I start this entry other than with a photo of my beautiful Dad. This photo was taken on my niece's wedding day in March 2003 and was one of the last that I have of this wonderful man.

Dad passed away on April Fool's Day 2003 and I still miss him with every fibre of my being.... and yes he was late for his own bloody funeral! I was reading another blog this morning where the blogger wrote an amazing tribute to her had me in tears. A lot of things she said that were memories of her Dad were the same as the memories I have of mine. She talked of walking down the street with him quite regularly and then one day realising that he always walked between her and the road. I remember the same thing and I remember asking my Dad the same question and getting the same answer. 'Dad, why do you do that?'.....'because if we are hit by a car, my love, it will get me first' was the reply we both received.

One of the most beautiful memories of Dad was telling both him and Mum I was pregnant with my son. I was living 4000km from them and told them I was about 4 weeks pregnant and my then husband was heading off for four weeks away with the army. Two days later I arrived home to find my Dad in my kitchen. He had jumped in the car the day after I gave them my news as he 'was not having' me 'all that way away on my own and pregnant'. For the next few weeks I came home every lunchtime to a restaurant like choice of menu of very healthy food! He cooked cleaned and did everything so I could 'get all the rest you need sweetheart!' He stayed with me for the four weeks and then Mum joined us for another two! That was a part of my life I will never forget.

I remember arriving at Mum and Dad's when they would look after my kids while I went to Uni to find 'Potsie' running around the house with a water pistol chasing two squealing children and poor Mum having the hard time of trying to work out who was the bigger kid! I remember my Dad building me a bookcase, but more importantly building cars, trucks and planes to the precise designs of a much loved four year old grandson. I remember the cradle he built for my daughter and the doll's house that was my sisters' and mine that he 'renovated' for her.

I remember watching my Mum and Dad walking along hand in hand, (even in their eighties after nearly sixty years of marriage) and finally understanding where my ideas about how a relationship should be, came from. I know the sadness of meeting the love of my life almost a year after Dad's death and knowing my Dad will never meet him. I am sure Dad would have approved! I think about the pride my Dad felt as he watched me graduate and I hope that he would still feel the same pride if he could watch me now lead a life with meaning.

I know for my Dad his kids, grandkids and great grandkids were the meaning of his life. I know there is not one of us who does not crave just one more magical Potsie bear hug....Ok so now the tears are streaming. Does that emptiness ever leave?

I know, not the usual upbeat me but this all just needed to be said.


Jane said...

Tears flowing here now too! sending you much love and a special hug as you remember your wonderful Dad. i can't imagine living without mine, he's one of the best too. Jxx
loved your weekend in cambridge photos too. they all look like postcards!

Coralie said...

It is with great pleasure I read you blog about your Dad. What a truly wonderful man... I am so jealous of such beautiful stories. It was not until I was well into my 30's that I got to understand my Dad just a bit. My son was born and he began to give me little words of wisdom and tell me how proud he was of me.I had been with Robert quite a few years by then too and Dad was comfortable with him... so I guess it came about that I started to see the man my father was. A heavy drinker, a business man, work, work and more work as we grew up and he went off an played with the mates, not much time for us. He gave up drinking and he and my mum were a team again. But then as his grandchildren were born and he saw what a wonderful relationship we had with our own children he realised how much he had missed.... He wanted to spend time with his grandchildren, to somehow make up for all his drinking, all his working, all his time away. I love my dad dearly, but I wish I had lovely stories like yours to tell. My son will have those stories about his dad... so that will be nice.
By the way... Connor is learning to drive, had his first lesson last week with a friend. I will do the rest... Robert is a bit scared!

Ali said...

Why did I know that it would be the two of you who would come back with the first responses! Jane I know how close you and your Dad are and what a truly wonderful things that is. Thanks for the love and the hug they are being sent right back.

Coralie I am so glad you have that wonderful memory of your Dad... a wonderful story to be able to share that he realised before it was too late the value of kids and grandkids and how important it is to spread a little love around. How great to know that the love was there even if he took a little time to be able to show it. I cannot believe that Connor is learning to drive already! Is this happening off road.... surely he is not 16 already!! Or is it just me not realising how much he has grown up?

MissTurner said...

You could have warned me that I needed tissues... a box of them... to read this!:p
This would have to be my most favourite photo that I have EVER taken. If you look real close in his right eye is a tear. I remember seeing Potsie so happy on this day that he started crying... a true man indeed. Not unlike another man I know :)
I was only just telling Salt not two days ago about the wonderful man that Potsie was, and I started crying then and now I'm doing it again!
Love you now and forever Potsie! xox
(If you also look really closely at his tie, he has a stain from the cuppa he drank before he left the house. You could only imagine the serving he got for doing this! He turned and winked at me after defending his clumsiness commenting about how it added to his outfit... I can still here Aunty Margaret going on about it to this day)

Ali said...

Eight minutes before I need to leave for work and the tears are streaming again Dooks! I love the fact that you and Adrian have such wonderful memories of this wonderful man...even bettter is that I think it is the same for all his grandchildren! Yes I have noticed the tear, but had not spotted the tea stain! How typical of him.

Coralie said...

Connor is 14 today... at 4:16pm... he is learning to drive off road.... tis toooooooooooooo scary to think of him as a 16 year old on the road! yet!!!